“I never even thought about whether or not they understand what I’m doing. The emotional reaction is all that matters. As long as there’s some feeling of communication, it isn’t necessary that it be understood.” — John Coltrane
Man, powerful stuff by a legend of the sax. Not only was he a legend on the sax, but he saw no boundaries in how he explored music. Everyone else was playing the changes, but he was playing in another atmosphere around the changes.
Communication is about conveying your feelings — what’s your gut saying and how does that actually play out when you’re communicating with others?
It doesn’t matter if you’re actually in communications for a living or not — we all need to relentlessly pursue the perfection of our communication — spoiler alert, you won’t get there.
We all feel a certain way, and if you grew up like me, you will “feel” what I’m about to say — most of us were not taught or modeled how to communicate our feelings. Most of our attempts landed us in trouble because of our anger and rage more than facilitating empathy in those close to us.
But it’s not too late — we can all continue to improve in our communication skills. Learn to slow things down — make a list if that’s helpful — definitely wait out anger and don’t act on it or try to solve the problem while you’re still angry.
We are all learning and growing, so let’s assume the best in others when they’re attempting to communicate — just like us, they’re still trying to figure it out.
